Christopher Neal McCann
Major: Risk Management and Insurance
Hometown: Newport News, VA
Years Rowing: One
In order to become a better rower I've been slowly taking pieces from the boat and consuming them in secret after practice. Sometimes it's wing nuts, other times spacers, little paint scrapings as well; always little things that nobody will notice. At the start of this year I began stealing small components from the erg machines to consume too. The other day while huffing the old spray paint cans we use to tag bridges, an idea came to me! If I ever want to truly become more like a boat (and therefore faster) I must go to greater extremes of bodily transformation. My body, broken for thee, shaped, a hull, my limbs oars and fleshy riggers, my eyes replaced, the lights which guide the coxswains safely in the dark night, and my mouth a perfect size for a Cox box. This shall be my final form, my ultimatum. Ride me hence, and I shall navigate the tide of the great James River as was always my purpose.